I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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