vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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