If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
