When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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