I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
