wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
is it fun? or sober?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
