k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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