hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
you inspire me to be a worse person
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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