You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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