I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
