i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
