What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
What drink are we having for lunch?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
