awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
