I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
