Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it hurts more in the daytime
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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