she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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