She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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