And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
