How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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