I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
