I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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