Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
