i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
