i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
