I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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