just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
