I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
