The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
