She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
