You work out of a Hotel?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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