I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
