Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
