we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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