And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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