I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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