Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
