he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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