all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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