oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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