You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the day after is always just damage control
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
