Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
