I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
love makes seman taste better
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
