Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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