i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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