Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
