he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
