I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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