Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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