I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
