On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just want nice things and good sex
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Come share oat with me in your robe
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
