Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
