we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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