If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
