where does the pee come out of this thing
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
