oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
