So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
