That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
