Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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